Saturday, January 24, 2009

so what if i want an african baby?!

since my friend's (possibly ex) boyfriend just so happens to be 37 and the father of the world's most sophisticated 5 year old, we also got to talking about the idea of one day having children. who can't commit. amazingly enough, this little after work meetup barely even lasted an hour. talk about diving in head first..dr. phil's got nothing on our happy hours, apparently.

children. she wants them, i run from them.
and she suspects that a friend of hers might be trying to get pregnant. this friend also happens to be 37 and just recently revealed that she has cut back her nightly drinking from 1 bottle to 1 glass of vino.

apparently if you don't date, you're a lesbian. and if you cut back on your drinking, you're trying to get pregnant.

this segwayed into a brief history of how when my friend first stating dating her boyfriend that he adamantly did not want to have any more kids, and did not want to get remarried. now, a year and a half later, he's open to the idea of children and open to the idea of one day possibly getting remarried. but he's still not open to a roommate.

well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad. unless you can't pay your rent and you're about to become homeless in 3 months.

my friend wants kids "some day". she's only 25, but she's convinced that "some day" is actually quite soon.
i'm convinced she's been hanging around with 37 year-olds too long.

so, amongst other things, we got to talking about children. having them. wanting them. she checked all the "yes" boxes...i checked all the "oh hell no's".

i've seen one too many "baby stories" in my life (thanks TLC) to know that there is absolutely no way in hell this body of mine will EVER be squeezing out a watermelon. not now. not ever. even if i could pull a britney and schedule a c-section, it's still not a pretty process.

c-section? they'll at least numb you, but you're still awake while they set your organs on your chest. and then you can't work out for like 3 months after because you're recovering from major surgery.

natural birth? they'll still numb you, but not until you're damn near ready to deliver the baby yourself mcgyver style with a butter knife. and even then...i've heard the stories. no thanks.

i do find the prospect of growing old alone somewhat heartbreaking and lonely. i'll admit it. given my current dryspell, that prospect is quite alarmingly realistic. and with the economy in its current downward spiral, a 401k isn't exactly the safest retirement plan.

that said, should i be approaching 40 one day, alone, i would not be opposed to pulling a sheryl (as in crow) and adopting myself a small african baby. why not adopt a child from a state of poverty to give them a better life?

even if i do meet someone someday and we decide to start a family, i still prefer adoption. the world is far too crazy and too unstable to bring someone else in to. over population aside, i think it's far more humane to adopt. it's like wanting a puppy, and paying thousands of dollars for a purebread instead of going to the local shelter to rescue a stray.

(my two cats are rescues. my mom's dog is a rescue. my friend's mom has dogs too...purebred cockapoos.)

and besides. african babies ARE the new "it" bag. maybe it's just time my friend got a bit more aware of the trends?

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